You’ve had an argument, now what?

It happens, even in the best of marriages. We get mad, blow up, and say things we regret.

The cardinal rule of arguing is to apologize. It’s also important to not to call your loved one horrible names or say terribly demeaning things. But, I’m gonna be real with you, you’re gonna mess this up from time to time. When this happens, be compassionate with you and be empathic with your beloved. Bottom line, you’ll get a lil’ crazy from time to time…then you’ll need to make things right by owning your behavior and apologizing.

Here are five things about arguments that most couples don’t get:

  1. An argument can clear the air

Sometimes shit brews for weeks. Couples act passive aggressive, stay busy, and harbor hurt, angry feelings. The atmosphere becomes far less than warm and fuzzy. Let’s face it, sometimes this crappy energy needs some angry energy to clear things up. An argument can help clear this crappy energy and help you move to a more positive, loving energy.

  1. An argument can open the path to needed communication

There are times in a relationship that a partner is scared to share information with the other partner. In truth, this fear’s usually based on an irrational belief. Here’s a crazy fact, a good argument can catapult the scared partner into blurting out the thing they feared sharing. When shared, all of the sudden the energy shifts and communication, honest communication, begins. This relief energizes communication. This leads to intimacy.

  1. An argument can strengthen your bond

I know, this sounds counter intuitive. But, an argument can remind you that your relationship is not fragile. It can withstand real, tumultuous human life experiences. An argument helps you remember that this is a forever commitment and there will be rough spots. However, your relationship can and will sustain this. In fact, through sustaining these arguments, you and your beloved are reminded y’all have a shared healthy, beautiful bond.

  1. An argument remind you why you’re doing this relationship “thing”

Let’s be honest, fear can set in after an argument. Regret for saying hurtful things, perhaps. And, fear the relationship could go away or be damaged. Often, one does not truly appreciate something until after its gone. This fear helps you appreciate the one you love and gives clarity to the importance of this relationship. You’re in this because you want to be and this is the most important thing in our life.

  1. An argument can lead to spectacularly HOT sex

Make up sex, need I say more. Reference number four. When we are truly sorry and want to feel connected to the person we love so very much, this causes the passion to pour out during sex. This creates a desperate hunger that leads to spectacular sex. In turn, sex releases oxytocin, the love hormone, which helps to bond you closer to your loved one. How cool is that!

For more information about Online and In-Office Relationship Counseling, contact Dr. Merriman at

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Meridian, TX 76665
(325) 665-4381

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